This is my once-in-a-blue-moon post.. Something that happens when i’m home from college, and about to go back, and i realize i really really dont want to. What i want is this:

I want to stay at home with my mom and my dad and my dogs.

I want to wake up whenever i want to.

I want to eat breakfast that doesnt smell and taste like horse shit.

I want to do whatever i want the whole day.

I want to watch my doberman try to sit on my dachsund.

I want to drive my mom around town.

I want to go and sit out in the lawn and just look around and be happy i’m home.

I want to let my dogs out of their cages and run around with them.

I want to go places and not have to pay the bill.

I want to know that i fit, that i belong.

I want to go to sleep on my bed, in my room.

I want to wake up on the same.

Sigh. So much i had as a kid. So so much. And HA! “So much i had as a kid”… I sound fifty.

I do know i have to go back to college, i do know its whats good for me, what i’m meant to do.  And i do know if i stayed back home 24*7 i’d probably beg to go to college anyway, like i did in 12th. The proverbial grass is ever greener on the other side, i guess. But ah, so, so, green and lush it is.

I leave this evening to go back to college. Have university exams coming up in two months, so yeah, you wont hear much of me. Heh. I speak like i have a huge fan following. And like i posted whenever i didn’t have exams coming up. Heh.. If there’s a single one among you out there reading this, do comment and let me know. Will motivate me to keep to my new years resolution. A post every month, i said. Would be easy, i said. What did i know :)

As you’ve probably figured by now, this isnt so much a post as me thinking aloud. It’s 3am here, i’m wide awake and have noone to talk to. Enter the internet. I know its sad, but hey, ten minutes into a yahoo chatroom and i get a PM from “hotbuns69″ asking if i want to go private, among other inappropriate questions. Bah.

I feel like i’ve forgotten how to write. I used to love it, i used to love making people laugh, making them think, through what i wrote. Even if most of it was bull. I envy those who keep a regular blog, who post weekly, even daily. I have a couple friends who do.. Actually it was reading someone’s blog that drove me to post something here asap.

Tomorrow i go back to college. I go back to a place where i feel like i dont fit in, where all my friends feel fake, where the people are all weird (or maybe its just me), where’s there’s nothing to do, and where the food  sucks monkey balls. If thats not what its made of in the first place. Oh internet Gods, if you’re out there, SAVE ME!!!

Sigh. I’m still here. When i started typing this stuff out, i thought the words would just flow, that it would be automatic. Turning out to be quite the opposite. 600 words and i still havent said anything of substance. Maybe i really have lost my touch :-s. If i ever had such a thing in the first place. What the heck is a “touch”? And why do you need it to be good at something?

Okay, i’m rambling. Is best i go watch a movie or something. And if you are still with me, patient and jobless reader, i know a great shrink :) Later…